Expectations Are Useless If You Don’t Enforce Them
Coaching with Purpose – Set Expectations
Every coach has expectations.
Fewer have standards.
Expectations are what you say at the parent meeting.
Standards are what actually happen when it’s inconvenient.
You can give a beautiful preseason talk about discipline, effort, and respect. Everyone nods, players are locked in, parents are impressed.
Then Week 2 rolls around:
Your star shows up five minutes late.
A kid sighs and rolls their eyes when corrected.
Someone walks during conditioning while you’re turned away.
That moment is louder than your speech.
If you let it slide, your real standard just became:
“The rules apply unless you’re important enough, good enough, or I’m tired.”
Congrats, you’ve just installed a two-tier system.
Here’s a better way.
Step one: simplify your standards.
Narrow it to a few non-negotiables that everyone can remember:
We’re on time.
We respond to coaching with eye contact and “Yes, Coach” or a question.
We don’t disrespect teammates, opponents, or refs.
We finish reps and drills.
Write them. Post them. Review them.
Step two: teach them, don’t just announce them.
Role-play:
“Show me a bad response to correction. Now show me the response we want.”
“What does ‘on time’ actually mean? Standing on the field at start time? Already warmed up?”
When they act it out and say it out loud, they own it more.
Step three: enforce them early and fairly.
The very first time someone breaks a standard, especially a key player, is your culture’s fork in the road.
Sit them.
Call it out.
Explain why: “This isn’t about punishment. This is about who we said we are.”
You’ll feel the room shift. The players will be watching: “Does Coach actually mean it?”
If you stay consistent, they relax. They might not love the consequence, but they understand the world they’re living in.
Step four: include yourself.
You blow up on a ref? Snap at a kid? Show up late?
Own it publicly:
“I broke our standard for how we handle officials today. That’s on me. I’ll be better. The standard still stands.”
That doesn’t weaken you. It makes your standards real.
Step five: praise the standard as loudly as you punish the violation.
“We had zero issues with punctuality this week. That’s big-time.”
“Loved how you took feedback and fixed it. That’s our standard.”
You’re not just a cop. You’re a builder.
In the end, your “team culture” is not what’s in your handbook.
It’s what happens on a random Tuesday when everyone’s tired and your best player is watching to see if you’re serious.
Expectations are cheap.
Enforced standards—especially when it costs you something short-term—are what build a culture your players will remember for the rest of their lives.
