Inside Jokes and Shared Language: The Glue of Great Teams
When you think back on your favorite team you’ve ever coached or played on, what pops up first?
Probably not the exact score of Week 3.
You remember the weird stuff.
The inside joke that made half the locker room laugh before anyone said a word.
The ridiculous moment in a drill that turned into a team catchphrase.
The silly activity that, somehow, pulled a quiet kid out of their shell.
Great teams have shared language and shared memories. That’s the “glue” you feel but can’t always name.
Team-building activities, done well, don’t just “fill time.” They manufacture those shared moments on purpose.
When I run sessions, especially virtually, I’m not trying to impress anyone with a fancy activity. I’m trying to accomplish three simple things:
Get everybody talking.
Get everybody laughing.
Sneak a lesson into the middle of it.
You can do that with almost any group, in almost any setting.
Take a simple activity like “Fake Headlines” or “Pressure Plan.” The content isn’t magic. What matters is how you use it:
You set a clear purpose: “We’re going to learn how to think under pressure… while being ridiculous.”
You create low-stakes risk: players volunteer, improvise, stumble, and realize nobody dies when they mess up.
You debrief it: “What did you notice about yourself when you were on the spot?”
Suddenly, it’s not just a goofy game. It’s a reference point.
Later in the season, you can say, “Remember when we did that activity and everything went sideways but you kept going?”—and they feel that memory. Now you’ve got a story and a phrase you can use all year.
A few tips if you want to weave more of this into your team:
Aim for short & frequent, not long & rare. Five minutes at the end of practice, ten minutes on a bus, a quick thing in a team meeting. Consistency wins.
Connect it to your values. If you say you value communication, pick activities that force them to talk and listen. If you say you value resilience, pick activities where failure is expected and safe.
Let them be silly. You’re not running a military briefing. Laughter is a performance enhancer when it’s paired with standards.
Here’s a simple one you can run this week:
“Two Truths and a Tall Tale – Team Edition”
Each player shares two true facts from their sports life and one outrageous made-up “highlight.” The team has to guess which is fake. You’ll get ridiculous stories, surprising truths, and a lot of laughter. Then you connect it:
“Everyone here has a story beyond what you see in practice. Part of being a great teammate is knowing that story.”
From there, every time someone mentions the fake highlight, the whole room smiles—and that smile is part of the chemistry you’ll need when things get hard.
Games will always matter. Schemes will always matter.
But don’t underestimate the power of a dumb inside joke created in a five-minute activity.
That’s the stuff they remember years later.
And it’s often the stuff that holds your culture together when the pressure hits.
