Adversity Is Not a Red Flag. Quitting Is.
An excerpt from Talent Needs Character – When Things Go Wrong
Every athlete loves the idea of resilience… until they are actually required to be resilient.
Benched. Hurt. Outplayed. Overlooked.
Suddenly the “mental toughness” quotes on your wall feel a lot less inspirational and a lot more like lies.
Here’s something most young athletes don’t know:
Coaches are not scared of adversity in your story. They’re scared of how you respond to it.
You lost your starting spot? Not a red flag.
You tore your ACL? Not a red flag.
Your team went 2–8? Not a red flag.
The red flags start flying when your response is:
blaming everyone else
disappearing from the weight room
showing ugly body language
poisoning the locker room
That’s the stuff that gets around.
On the other hand, some of the most recruitable kids I’ve ever seen had “messy” stories:
They played on bad teams but never stopped competing.
They came back from injuries stronger and more mature.
They got benched as juniors and became captains as seniors.
You don’t control whether adversity shows up. You do control whether you become bitter or deeper because of it.
When something goes wrong, ask two questions:
“What part of this is outside my control?”
“Given that, what part is still mine to own?”
Maybe you can’t change the coach’s decision this week.
You can still outwork everyone at practice.
You can still be a great teammate.
You can still master your role—however small your ego thinks it is.
Is that fun? No. It’s brutal.
But that’s the fork in the road where your character is being built.
You’re building one of two habits:
“When it’s hard, I withdraw.”
“When it’s hard, I grow.”
One of those will follow you into college, work, relationships, parenting—everything.
The scoreboard, the depth chart, and your trainer’s report are out of your control.
Your response is not.
Coaches don’t need perfect stories.
They need people who don’t crumble the first time life doesn’t go their way.
Adversity isn’t the red flag.
Quitting on yourself and your teammates is.
