Parents Aren’t the Enemy (Unless You Train Them That Way)
The Empowered Coach – Working With, Not Against, Parents
Every coach has a horror story about that parent.
The one pacing the sideline.
The one yelling instructions over you.
The one drafting 900-word midnight emails with CC: The Entire Planet.
Easy conclusion: “Parents are ridiculous.”
Sometimes they are. But often their behavior grows in the gaps we leave.
When information is vague, they assume the worst.
When expectations are fuzzy, they test them.
When we only communicate when things go wrong, they brace for conflict the moment they see our name in their inbox.
You won’t fix youth sports parents globally, but you can dramatically improve your little ecosystem.
Start with the parent meeting that actually matters.
Skip the 45-minute slideshow about your playing career. They don’t care.
In 10–15 minutes, answer three questions:
What can they expect from you?
“I’ll be prepared, on time, and consistent. I care about developing your kid as a person and a player.”
What do you expect from their athlete?
“Show up, listen, work, and be a great teammate. No drama, no excuses.”
What do you expect from them?
“Support, not sideline coaching. Calm communication. No postgame debates in the parking lot.”
Say it plainly:
“If your athlete has an issue, I want them to come to me first. That’s part of their growth. If we still need to talk after that, I’m happy to meet—with your athlete present. But we won’t do emotional debriefs right after games.”
You just set boundaries without being a jerk.
Next, build a simple communication rhythm:
A short weekly email: “Here’s what we’re working on, what we’re proud of, and what’s coming up.”
Any major changes? They hear it from you first, not the rumor mill.
Parents relax when they know what’s going on. Relaxed parents are less likely to blow up.
Third: catch parents being awesome.
Send a random text or email:
“Hey, your kid was an incredible teammate today. Thanks for how you’re raising them.”
Now if something hard comes up later, they know you see more than just problems.
And finally, remember this:
Most parent chaos is powered by fear.
Fear their kid will be overlooked.
Fear this is their only shot.
Fear they’ll look like a bad parent.
You don’t need to be their therapist, but you can lower the temperature by saying things like:
“Your kid is more than their minutes. I see leadership in them. Here’s where they’re growing.”
Parents aren’t going away.
They can be your biggest allies or your biggest drain.
You don’t control who they are.
You do control whether you treat them as enemies by default—or partners with clear, enforced boundaries.
