The 60-Second Routine That Saves Parents (and Their Athletes)

Let’s talk about the real opponent in youth sports.

It’s not the other team. It’s not the ref. It’s not even the scoreboard.

It’s the moment your emotions spike and your mouth starts warming up like it’s about to enter the transfer portal.

Sometimes the athlete is fine… and the parent is the one spiraling. And if we’re being honest, that spiral usually comes from love. You want your kid to succeed. You’re invested. You’ve sacrificed time, money, weekends, and at least two folding chairs.

But when stress hits, logic leaves. That’s true for kids and adults.

So here’s a tool that keeps you from accidentally turning the ride home into a TED Talk no one asked for.

RESET: the parent routine

Before you coach, correct, or “teach a lesson,” do this:

R — Recognize: “I’m heated.”

Name it. If you can name it, you can manage it.

E — Exhale: one slow breath.

Make the exhale longer than the inhale. Your body gets the message: we’re safe.

S — Step back: don’t talk yet.

Give it 60 seconds. Silence is not neglect. Silence is leadership.

E — Empathize: “That was a lot. I’m here.”

You don’t have to fix it. You have to be with them in it.

T — Teach later: coaching comes after calm.

If something needs to be addressed, do it later—when everyone’s nervous system is back online.

The 90-second calm-down (when you feel yourself boiling)

Pick one. Do it for 90 seconds. It’s not dramatic. It’s not weird. It’s just how you keep your brain in charge.

Option A: Long-exhale breathing

Inhale through the nose for about 4 seconds. Exhale for 6–8 seconds. Repeat.

Option B: 5–4–3–2–1 grounding

Name 5 things you see, 4 you feel, 3 you hear, 2 you smell, 1 you taste. It pulls you out of the mental highlight reel and back into the present.

What to avoid (because it backfires)

• Turning the ride home into film study.

• Comparing your kid to teammates.

• Asking “Why didn’t you…?” before they’ve even taken their cleats off emotionally.

• Coaching at them while they’re still upset.

• Complaining in the group chat (it spreads fast and hurts the team).

Your kid already has a coach. They don’t need a second one yelling from the passenger seat like it’s the NASCAR pit crew.

They need a parent who can stay calm enough to be helpful.

So when you feel the heat rising, run RESET. Take 90 seconds. And remember: the goal isn’t to win the argument in the car… it’s to help your athlete win the long game.

Because confidence is built in moments like this.